Although the topic for this week was "Fatherhood and Finances" I feel like we mostly talked about "Womanhood and the Workforce" haha No, I'm joking... partially.
My mom was a single mother up until I was about six and then she got re-married. I am so proud of her! She worked as a manager and teacher at a day care center in Montana. That place was like my second home. She would get us there early and feed us breakfast and get us ready, and then the other kids all came in and we would play and have a good time, and then the kids would go home and I would continue to play while my mom would clean everything up, and then we would go home to my grandparent's house! She was very fortunate to find a job where she could bring her children - that is usually never the case for most working mothers.
However, with the situation of working mothers, I feel like a large portion of them are not single mothers, forced to have a job. It was interesting to read about the different reasons mothers would work. For some, it is merely a case of self-fulfillment - they feel like they contribute more to the family and it gives them more routine I think. Also, for some families, they really do need that extra income. This extra income could be for a variety of reasons: hospital bills, home remodel, simply because they want more money, the husband's job doesn't pay very much, etc etc. Also, mothers might work because they feel like if they spent all that time and money getting an education, then they better use their degree or else it was a waste of time!
Which reminds me of our latest discussion board - there were many who stated the opinion that women who get an education before becoming mothers just become that much better at mothering! I absolutely agree with them! School is more than just a degree. It teaches social skills, perseverance, how to get things done, how to influence others when you are in a group, knowledge for things such as paying bills, and once you get into college it really teaches you important homemaking skills such as cleaning and cooking. I think that you get out of school what you want, so if you're only in it for the degree, well, congrats, you'll get it. But if you're in it for more than just a degree, then you will learn so much more!
For me personally, I'm going to school because I want options. Life is not what we expect, you can plan and plan all you want, but there's always going to be something that you didn't plan for. I feel more confident about the life I will have now that I'm going to school. Hopefully I can just be a stay at home mom, but I know that there are many other lifestyles that could await me. Maybe I won't get married until I'm 28, maybe my husband will get laid off or even die, maybe he really wants to be a garbage man because that was his dream since he was five and I want to support him in that so he can go be a garbage man and I'll work to help get us a little more money, maybe after all our kids are grown I'll want to be able to do something other than sit at home, maybe I'll get divorced. These things are never planned! It's not like I can go through each year of my life and outline what will happen to me! Going to school and getting a degree for a job will open so many doors for me - and they're doors that I can keep closed until I decide it's time to open them!
Anyways... those are my thoughts. Enjoy!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Blog Number 7
I've loved our discussions these past couple weeks - it's funny how the things we learn in class are really quite obvious. How easy it is to forget about the obvious things when we over analyze.
Ultimately, communication one of the most important things in a relationship. The reason there are problems is very often because of miscommunication. Oddly enough, I had the opportunity to test my new knowledge of communication in my life recently! I have a friend and we've gone a little while without talking. There were just miscommunications about things. I told them about things that had been bugging me for about a year now and they told me things that had been bugging them. It was crazy! And probably the best discussion I've ever had. I felt so free after it - even though we still had some questions and things to work on, just getting all those things off my chest and then seeing how they actually felt without playing games or putting on a mask was really awesome.
People can't read your mind - I know, crazy, right?!
There are all sorts of ways that we communicate - without even knowing it! In the case of my friend, I misinterpreted their meanings so I acted a little weird and defensive, and they noticed that I acted that way, so they then acted accordingly haha it was just not good. We both knew that something was up and that there was a problem, but we didn't know what it was, so we couldn't fix it!
I loved Brother William's story about when his wife thought he wanted to punch her face. Obviously I didn't like that she felt that way, but I think that that shows perfectly the way that humans can misinterpret things. That's why it's so important to let the person you are trying to communicate to know exactly what's going on in your mind.
I'm so grateful that Brother Williams brought up in class the importance of having the Spirit with us when we communicate. With the Spirit, we can more effectively get our ideas across and both us and the person we are trying to communicate to will be less likely to be defensive. Hopefully, with the Spirit's help - the best solution will show up and it will produce itself in such a way that will make the participants gain more knowledge and draw closer together.
Ultimately, communication one of the most important things in a relationship. The reason there are problems is very often because of miscommunication. Oddly enough, I had the opportunity to test my new knowledge of communication in my life recently! I have a friend and we've gone a little while without talking. There were just miscommunications about things. I told them about things that had been bugging me for about a year now and they told me things that had been bugging them. It was crazy! And probably the best discussion I've ever had. I felt so free after it - even though we still had some questions and things to work on, just getting all those things off my chest and then seeing how they actually felt without playing games or putting on a mask was really awesome.
People can't read your mind - I know, crazy, right?!
There are all sorts of ways that we communicate - without even knowing it! In the case of my friend, I misinterpreted their meanings so I acted a little weird and defensive, and they noticed that I acted that way, so they then acted accordingly haha it was just not good. We both knew that something was up and that there was a problem, but we didn't know what it was, so we couldn't fix it!
I loved Brother William's story about when his wife thought he wanted to punch her face. Obviously I didn't like that she felt that way, but I think that that shows perfectly the way that humans can misinterpret things. That's why it's so important to let the person you are trying to communicate to know exactly what's going on in your mind.
I'm so grateful that Brother Williams brought up in class the importance of having the Spirit with us when we communicate. With the Spirit, we can more effectively get our ideas across and both us and the person we are trying to communicate to will be less likely to be defensive. Hopefully, with the Spirit's help - the best solution will show up and it will produce itself in such a way that will make the participants gain more knowledge and draw closer together.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Blog Number 6
Growing up, I never had "the talk" or anything like that with my parents. My parents were divorced so maybe they thought that the other would take care of it? Or maybe they just didn't feel the need because they just never thought that I needed to worry about it until I was engaged? I'm not sure haha There wasn't any education about it at my school either. The way I learned about sex was gradually through innuendos at school, and then when I was 16, one of my friends had sex and told me all about it. Learning this way was fine as far as the world goes. I mean, it really wasn't that hard to figure out physically. Unfortunately, I never really thought about it in a spiritual manner. Ya, I knew it was a sacred thing and that it was a commandment to not do anything sexual outside of marriage, but that was it. I felt kind of like we spent our whole lives away from it, and then you get married and you can just go to town!
Ya, that's not the case. At all. haha
I'm so grateful that we talked about this so I could gain an even greater understanding of that part of marriage and how important it is. When I learned about sex from my friend, she obviously didn't include the spiritual aspect of it. In her case is was a raunchy, gross, rush of hormones that they couldn't control. I'm not saying that those who have sex outside of marriage are always doing it because of purely physical things, I'm sure that there are some who just long for that bonding and emotional side of it. Anyways. I don't know. haha But for my friend it was - it was all about size and positions and all about the worldly aspect of it.
One thing that was very interesting to me, was that you could commit adultery without doing anything physically sexual to yourself or someone else. Sex is an intimate intimate thing, and even becoming intimate with someone else can be adulterous. I think that that is so important! Ironically, the day that we learned about this, I was assigned for my health class to go to the gym with someone. I got paired up with a guy who graduated a couple years before me at my own high school, so I knew him and his wife. Well, we were exercising together and I was hyperaware of the whole intimacy thing. He tried talking about deep things like my plans and my family and things like that, and I was surprised at how common it is to share personal things with people! Before learning about sex and intimacy, I probably would have opened the flood gate and gotten to know him on a more personal level - but because I was so sensitive to this, I was very careful to not share too much information, and also (kind of silly) but I tried to make his wife in as much of our conversations as possible haha but I feel like we maintained a good level and shallowness throughout the time we were at the gym.
I can't wait to make those covenants with my best friend and to become so close. Like stated earlier, I thought sex was something we avoided until marriage and then on the honeymoon you just all of a sudden did it all the time, whenever you wanted. It was a very black and white way of thinking. But I have come to gain better understanding that there is a lot of gray area. As I date someone, I can become closer to them and share more of myself with them as time goes on. Obviously we won't do anything intimacy wise that is sexual, but I'm understanding that I can get to know how they will act during intercourse while I am dating them. There are guys that I have dated that I know would be very raunchy and rough and I would feel embarrassed to tell them if I felt uncomfortable. I'm understanding the importance of looking for someone who will be so gentle and sweet and patient and someone who I would feel comfortable exposing myself to and to do that for them because I loved them and wanted to, rather than feeling like I better be a "hot wife" and meet their expectations all the time.
Also, one last thing, I am so impressed with the maturity and reverence that was present while we had these discussions. It was wonderful to be able to have that talk without feeling too weird and awkward. Thanks everyone haha
Ya, that's not the case. At all. haha
I'm so grateful that we talked about this so I could gain an even greater understanding of that part of marriage and how important it is. When I learned about sex from my friend, she obviously didn't include the spiritual aspect of it. In her case is was a raunchy, gross, rush of hormones that they couldn't control. I'm not saying that those who have sex outside of marriage are always doing it because of purely physical things, I'm sure that there are some who just long for that bonding and emotional side of it. Anyways. I don't know. haha But for my friend it was - it was all about size and positions and all about the worldly aspect of it.
One thing that was very interesting to me, was that you could commit adultery without doing anything physically sexual to yourself or someone else. Sex is an intimate intimate thing, and even becoming intimate with someone else can be adulterous. I think that that is so important! Ironically, the day that we learned about this, I was assigned for my health class to go to the gym with someone. I got paired up with a guy who graduated a couple years before me at my own high school, so I knew him and his wife. Well, we were exercising together and I was hyperaware of the whole intimacy thing. He tried talking about deep things like my plans and my family and things like that, and I was surprised at how common it is to share personal things with people! Before learning about sex and intimacy, I probably would have opened the flood gate and gotten to know him on a more personal level - but because I was so sensitive to this, I was very careful to not share too much information, and also (kind of silly) but I tried to make his wife in as much of our conversations as possible haha but I feel like we maintained a good level and shallowness throughout the time we were at the gym.
I can't wait to make those covenants with my best friend and to become so close. Like stated earlier, I thought sex was something we avoided until marriage and then on the honeymoon you just all of a sudden did it all the time, whenever you wanted. It was a very black and white way of thinking. But I have come to gain better understanding that there is a lot of gray area. As I date someone, I can become closer to them and share more of myself with them as time goes on. Obviously we won't do anything intimacy wise that is sexual, but I'm understanding that I can get to know how they will act during intercourse while I am dating them. There are guys that I have dated that I know would be very raunchy and rough and I would feel embarrassed to tell them if I felt uncomfortable. I'm understanding the importance of looking for someone who will be so gentle and sweet and patient and someone who I would feel comfortable exposing myself to and to do that for them because I loved them and wanted to, rather than feeling like I better be a "hot wife" and meet their expectations all the time.
Also, one last thing, I am so impressed with the maturity and reverence that was present while we had these discussions. It was wonderful to be able to have that talk without feeling too weird and awkward. Thanks everyone haha
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